Digging holes and managing children's behaviour - what's the link?? Let me tell you...

Digging holes and managing children's behaviour - what's the link?? Let me tell you...

Because of their appalling behaviour in their mainstream school, after many professionals have tried and failed, children are referred to my classes. In a lot of cases mental health services are the next to be invited into the mix. No-one knows what else can be done, but it's rarely (no, never) considered that the management strategies maybe at fault rather than the child being the one to cop the blame...

So back to the issue of energy. The child behaves badly, the adults can't cope - the situation goes from bad to worse - and a great deal of energy is being used. However, the kind of energy you're using is wrong, so all the effort is wasted. Without exception the adults are stuck in the rut of using negative energy - it won't achieve anything. The outcome is bound to be negative.

A couple of years ago a little boy was referred to my classes by a school that could have won a gold medal for negativity! They considered themselves very successful but, well let's just say I didn't agree with that... I was met with the comment that neither school or his parents could find anything positive to say about him - how bad is that? Poor little lad, what a miserable, unhappy time he was having. Everything for him was negative and he couldn't please anyone... I could have said a great deal, but it wouldn't have been professional! I find it unbelievable that a child can be dismissed in such a way. Luckily he moved to another (positive) school and he flourished...

This school told me they'd worked so hard to manage this child, but whatever they did had no impact and nothing improved. I told them that I was sure that they'd worked hard, but, and here's a very important message... if you're not doing it right then all the hard work in the world isn't going to make it right. It's like digging a hole... you dig like mad, a really big hole - finished. You've worked so hard and been digging for ages. Then you discover you've dug the hole in the wrong place... Oops - all that hard work - totally wasted. A very inefficient use of energy...

When managing children's behaviour you have to be confident in the strategies you employ - then your energy will be positive. Most children could have behaviour problems to some degree if not managed competently. To be successful you have to build a range of behaviour management strategies that you can access in an instant, instinctively. It really isn't hard to to... anyone can accomplish this.

To become confident at managing behaviour, read the techniques (they're easy to follow). You may ask if you can learn what you need this way and the answer is, 'Yes you can'. I give advice by email every day. It's important that you practise the techniques until you're totally confident and use them all the time - consistency is essential.

So, stop digging in the wrong place!!